Life’s pretty stressful lately (always)…. So here’s a teaspoon of steroid!!
Elephant Love
A Kerryman visited his psychiatrist and said, ‘Look Doc, I’ve got two questions to ask you’.
‘Right’, said the psychiatrist, ‘ask me the first question’.
‘Doc’, said the Kerryman, ‘could I possibly be in love with an elephant’. ‘Of course not’, said the psychiatrist, ‘what’s your other question?’
‘Do you know of anybody who wants to buy a very large engagement ring?’
How is your son?
‘How’s your son Michael?’ asked widow McHugh.
‘He’s at university, taking Medicine,’ said Mrs Murphy proudly.
‘And is it doing him any good?’ said the widow.
You’ve caught him
So Molloy rang up the police station and inquired: ‘I believe you’ve caught the burglar who broke into our house last night?’
‘Indeed we have,’ said the desk sergeant.
‘Well,’ said Molloy, ‘could you ask him how he got in without waking the wife?’
Digging potatoes
Idly the American tourist watched the Cork man dig and turn over the soil. Eventually he called:
‘Hey, buddy, what’s that you’re doing?’
‘I’m digging potatoes, sor.’
‘Potatoes? Those small things? You call them potatoes? Back home in Iowa we have potatoes ten times that size!’
‘Yes, sor. But you see. We only grow them to fit our mouths!’